Psychotic Fish

Are you a fortune teller?  Can you tell me how to find the nearest path to enlightenment, however drenched with wrath, consistently wrapped around my little finger, a string no bigger than a C from a bass summoned by the god of thunder, a constant reminder that hind sight is 20/20 even when I have plenty of voices to tell me otherwise, to tell me how to die and live in the same breath.  Nine lives of constant glances over the shoulder, wondering when the thin string will continue to wrap around my body, slithering past navel to neck where even the slightest cough sends trickles down my spine.  How many times will I fight to make music, a serenade of notes no human can hear, decibels sounding to the ears of fancy chinchillas and vampire bats, out hunting each other for a midnight snack, consciously choosing to avoid tried and true sustenance, leaves and fruits and insects?  But how many of us would attempt the oddest obstacles, climb the strangest pinnacle in the face of a hooded man holding a blade, eerily reflecting the exact shade of skin enrobing my body, collapsing on the nearby grass, a simple modification of carcasses from centuries of passing.  I wonder, are you a fortune teller?

Or the same hooded man around my neck? 

Puppy Birthday & Couponing Chinchilla?!?

Insert d'awwws now

My adorable family Dach-Pom celebrated her 6th birthday yesterday, complete with squeaky rubber chickens and some cheesecake-inspired Ben & Jerry's ice cream (dogs love dairy oh so much).  With all of the festivities, she also managed to swipe the catnip bird I purchased for my Garfield-iend orange tabby.  The blue feathers, the crinkly stuffing, the thought of chewing on something you are just not suppose to have. . . it was too much temptation.  My sweet Bella managed to maneuver past my Girl Scout Cookie induced hypnotic state and snatch the poor bird between her tiny teeth.  The bird didn't stand a chance.  And now, among the scraps of felt and feathers, all that remains is a polka dot carcass, covered in the sweet scent of puppy drool and desire.  But it's filled with catnip - I don't think my tabby will mind the canine bite marks too much.

On a more informational note, giving ice cream to my pup is not a regular occurrence.  Too many treats of any kind are harmful to any animals' natural diet.  Ice cream is a pretty safe choice for dogs in small quantities.  The protein and calcium content are fairly high, and, depending on the flavor, sugar levels can be in the lower range.  Make sure whatever treat you are giving your pet, you have researched if it's harmful to their digestive system.  Some toxic and/or dangerous foods to avoid giving dogs and cats are: chocolate and cocoa powder, onions, garlic, grapes and raisins, mushrooms, fatty meats and trimmings, fish bones, raw eggs, poinsettias, and lilies.  Dairy can also be an issue, depending on your pet and the number of lactase enzymes produced in the stomach.  If you want to give your pet dairy, only provide a very small amount at a time to see if there are any adverse reactions.  Vomiting and diarrhea are key signs.  Remember, dogs may love getting pieces of hot dog or some Kraft cheese slices (processed cheese = bad), but those treats actually shorten their lives.  Choose a healthier option, like carrots or natural dog biscuits from the pet store.

If you've been keeping up with the blog, you now know the Vegetarian Cat is a couponing fiend.  Tomorrow, I will be teaching my first course about the basics of saving money using these magical forms of paper money (currency is actually made from linen and cotton).  I usually print the majority of my coupons from websites like coupons.com or target.com/coupons.  When I first got my chinchilla, I would often take him to his room (yes, he has his own room) and clip coupons while watching him bounce off of the walls and play basketball.  Until I found out the truth.  My darling child, the fruit of my love, is a coupon addict.  Neatly stacked piles of freshly clipped coupons scattered across the bed.  Coupons hidden under toys, boxes, and bed sheets.  Corners nibbled and torn.  My Fuji apple had turned rogue, stealing coupons faster than I could cut them (sounds a little like a Dach-Pom I know).  Despite the apparent rush he feels from nibbling paper, I had to halt our couponing time together, cold tofurkey.  I feel it's best for both of us.  Now, after a recovery period, he still steals toys and treats from my unsuspecting hands, maybe a piece of hay now and then.  But the coupons are tucked away from prying chinchilla paws.  Hopefully he never finds my binder.

Now, you know you want it. . . it's time for:

*** Coupon Deals of the Week ***
Walgreens
Select seeds, 5/$1 with in-ad coupon
Tylenol Precise Heat Patches 3-4 pack or Pain Relief Cream 2.5 oz. $5
- use $5/1 Tylenol Precise from RP 2/19
Kleenex Facial Tissue 24, 70, or 100 sheets $.99
- use $.50/1 Kleenex from SS 2/12
All Laundry Detergent 28-40 loads $3.50
- use $1/1 All Detergent 
Hunt's Tomato Sauce 8 oz. $.39 with in-ad coupon
Goody Ouchless Elastic hair ties 27 pack, $2.99, receive 2RR

CVS
Coldcalm 60 ct. $6.99, receive 6.99ECB
Slim Fast bars 5 ct. or shakes 4 pk., 2/$10, buy 2 receive 2ECB
- use (2) $1.50/1 Slim Fast shakes 
- pay $7, receive 2 ECB
Poise pads and liners, on clearance, price varies between $2-$4
- use Poise coupon 
Schick Intuition, Quattro for Men/Women razor 1 ct. or 3-4 ct. cartridges $8.99, receive 3 ECB
- use $2/1 Schick Intuition razor or $2/1 Schick Quattro razor from RP 1/15
- pay $6.99, receive 3 ECB

Looks a lot like my orange tabby. . .

 Now, I'm off to eat some yummy Greek yogurt and play with my baby.

~ The Vegetarian Cat
     

Trials and Tribulations of St. Valentine's Day

Chinese New Year has come and gone, and with the holiday's closing, thoughts swirl to images of pink and red, hearts and chocolate.  Valentine's Day, celebrated around the world with slight variations, allows friends and lovers to express their inner feelings through flowers, candies, cards, and acts of devotion.  The saints honored on February 14th were not pioneers of love, but priests martyred over a thousand years ago.  In 1382, Geoffrey Chaucer wrote a poem about King Richard II and his wife, Anne of Bohemia, intertwining the young couple's romantic bond with Valentine's Day.  One of my favorite traditions exists in South Korea, where women give chocolate to men on February 14th, and men give non-chocolate candy to women on March 14th.  On April 14th, all of the people who did not receive gifts flock to Korean restaurants and drown their sorrows in jajangmyeon - a dish of black noodles strewn with meats, vegetables, or seafood (I feel a vegetarian version in the making).

I typically don't celebrate Valentine's Day with too much enthusiasm.  Maybe a pink cookie here, a chocolate-drenched candy there.  One day to express love just isn't enough, especially for my little baby chinchilla (the best, furriest Valentine ever)!  So while he sleeps in his hammock, slightly swaying in a serene slumber, I think of the cheesecake I made for another Valentine, however crabby he is at times.  And I will share the recipe, although I must admit, I think the final product isn't at all up to my normal caliber of cheesecake excellency.  But baking is trial and error, and now I know that Oreo cream cannot substitute for sugar. . .

Valentine's Day Oreo Cheesecake with Raspberry Jam

Crust:
1 1/2 - 2 cups crushed Oreo cookie crumbs, frosting removed and set aside
3 tbsp butter, melted (more if you use more crumbs for a higher crust)
1 tbsp sugar

Filling:
(4) 8 oz. packages of cream cheese
1 tsp. extract (I used vanilla, but raspberry would be good)
Leftover cream from separated Oreos (I used a package of Christmas Oreos, and the red fillings turned my cheesecake a pretty pink color)
4 eggs
1c. of sugar (here is where I went wrong)*

Optional Decoration: 2 tbsp raspberry jam

Directions:  Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.  Combine Oreo crumbs, butter, and sugar in bowl, and press into 9-inch springform pan, patting crumbs evenly across the bottom and up the sides.  Place cream cheese in microwave-safe bowl and heat for 1 minute, until cream cheese is softened.  Mix together cream cheese, sugar, Oreo creams, and extract with electric mixer until incorporated.  Add eggs one at a time, mixing until each disappears into batter.  Meanwhile, heat raspberry jam for 30 seconds in microwave, until thin and runny.  Pour batter into springform pan, and use a spoon to to drip raspberry jam over cheesecake in the pattern of a heart.  Bake for about 55 minutes, until edges are set, but middle is slightly jiggly.  Use a spatula to gently separate the cheesecake from the rim, leaving the latch on the pan secure.  Cool at room temperate, then refrigerate for 4 hours or overnight.

*Note:  When making this cheesecake last night, I realized I didn't have enough sugar, my stockpile barren of the sweet stuff.  So I remembered back to making a cheesecake, substituting white chocolate for sugar in specific ratios.  Thinking the same would be true for Oreo filling, I used the cream instead of sugar.  While I haven't tried the refrigerated product, I did taste a little piece out of the oven.  The cake was creamy and cheesy, but more like the base for a savoury, not sweet, cheesecake.  So I recommend using about 1 cup of sugar in addition to the Oreo creams to really reach that sugary bite.

Coupon Deals of the Week 2/12 - 2/18

Walgreens
LypSyl Extreme Cold Sore Relief 3 oz. $5, receive 5RR
Walgreens TRUEresult Meter $14.99, $14.99 mail-in rebate
Cardio Juice $7.99, $7.99 mail-in rebate
Got2b hair products $5.99, BOGO
- use (2) $3/1 Got2b products from RP 2/11
- Both for Free

CVS
Colgate Total 4-4.2 oz. $2.75, receive 2ECB
- use $.75/1 Colgate Total from SS 2/12
Nivea Lip Care .17-.2 oz. $2.50, spend $10, receive 3 ECB
- buy 4, use (2) $3/2 Nivea lip care products from RP 2/12
Lady Speed Stick Deodorant $1.99, spend $15, receive 5ECB
- buy 8, use (4) BOGO Speed Stick deodorants from SS 1/29
Summer's Eve Feminine Cleansing Cloths 16 ct. $2.99, BOGO
- use $2/2 Summer's Eve products

Target
(Buy any 2 participating Trojan or K-Y products, receive $10 GC)
Trojan Ultra-Thin Lubricating Condoms $13.76
- $2/1 Trojan condoms 10ct or larger
K-Y Yours+Mine Kissable Sensations Lubricant $14.99
K-Y Yours+Mine Intrigue Premium Personal Lubricant $15
- $7/1 K-Y Premium product

Enough with cheesecakes and coupons, go out there and tell someone you love them (but probably not that creepy guy down the street who always winks at you while reading the newspaper on his porch while rocking in a chair producing a sound reminiscent of bones creaking in a cellar).

~ The Vegetarian Cat

(Darth Fuzzy, my shadowy feline friend, I will love you and miss you forever).

Year of the Dragon

Photo by chooyutshing

The year of the dragon is upon us once again, promising good fortune for those born in 1988 (like me).  A symbol of energy and strength, the dragon is a leader among the heavenly and earthly realms, spouting not only brimstone, but the vast knowledge of the world.  Dragons are typically loners, requiring time in solitude to recuperate from their often stressful encounters.

As a child, I always told myself I would find a dragon someday while exploring the ancient lands of Asia.  Diving into ocean trenches, exploring volcano caverns, navigating the densest forests.  What I might actually find will probably be a mystery forever, but sometimes the dream is enough.  Holding on to childhood memories helps us remember who we are.  That being said, let's take a spiel into dragon territory in light of the Chinese New Year.

Dragon Blood Dessert

1/2 c. water

1 c. sugar

2 tsp. cherry extract

Cherry sherbet (or any red sorbet)

Cherry 7-up

Cook the water, sugar, and extract mixture over medium heat until sugar dissolves completely and mixture becomes clear (or red if extract is colored).  Let cool and transfer to squeeze bottle with small nozzle or tip.  Chill stemmed glasses in freezer for about 30 minutes, until frosty.  Place 1 to 2 scoops of sherbet in each glass, followed by the soda.  Drizzle simple syrup over sherbet and enjoy.

*Note: The red elements can be replace with lime flavored ingredients to create the look of dragon snot.*

I'm still working on a dragon rice recipe, something spicy with a lot of crunch.  I will post the results later.  Dragon cupcakes sound like a good idea too, with crimson wrappers and butter cream eyes.

Here's hoping Shenron has a fruitful year!

~The Vegetarian Cat

Coconut for Christmas

Merry Christmas, everyone!  It's the time of year for family, friends, and tons of holiday treats.  I have recently been on a coconut kick, baking bread pudding and vegan chocolate cake.  The recipes were so awesome, I'm going to share them with you.

Vegan Chocolate Banana Cake (with Coconut)
Adapted from The Novice Chef

1/2 c. coconut milk
1/2 c. ripe bananas (I used 1 large banana)
1/3 canola or vegetable oil
1 tsp. vanilla extract
3/4 c. sugar
1 c. all-purpose flour
1/3 c. cocoa powder
3/4 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
Dash of cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Mash together banana and coconut milk in a large bowl, followed by sugar, oil, and vanilla extract.  Stir or whisk until well mixed.  Add the remaining dry ingredients, and combine until smooth with no dry lumps.  Pour batter into bundt pan lightly coated with cooking spray.  Mixture will fill pan less than halfway.  Bake 24 minutes.  If toothpick does not come out clean, bake an additional 2 minutes until complete.  Let cool before transferring to a serving plate.

White Chocolate Glaze (optional)

*Note:  This cake is very moist on its own, but I made mine as a birthday surprise and used this glaze to write a message on the cake*

1 handful of white chocolate chips (about 1/2 c.)
2 tbsp. coconut milk

Combine ingredients in microwave safe bowl and melt for 30 seconds.  Stir until glossy.  If chips are not completely melt, heat an additional 20 seconds.  Pour glaze into baggie and cut the corner of the bag.  Apply pressure to the frosting and slowly pipe glaze on cake.  If you want extra coconut flavor, sprinkle fresh or toasted coconut on glaze.

*** ~ ***

Almond Joy Bread Pudding

1 3/4 c. granulated sugar
4 large eggs
1 c. milk or half n half
3/4 c. Coconut Silk or coconut milk
2 tsp. almond extract
2 1/2 c. dense, sweet bread, torn into pieces and left in fridge for a week or oven overnight
1/2 c. milk or dark chocolate chips
1/2 c. shredded coconut
1/4 c. chopped almonds

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Lightly grease 8x8 or 9x13 pan, set aside.  Whisk together eggs, sugar, milk, coconut milk, and almond extract.  Place bread chunks into pan, and sprinkle with chocolate chips and almonds.  Pour egg mixture over bread, and push down on bread until all pieces have soaked up the custard.  Bake for 35 minutes, remove, and evenly distribute coconut over the top.  Bake for an additional 5 minutes until custard is set and top is slightly golden brown.  Devour hot or cold.  For a glaze, I recommend simply placing a good spoonful of Haagen Daaz vanilla ice cream over the top of the hot bread pudding.

*Note:  I used Panera raisin bread in the pudding.  The raisins worked well with the chocolate and coconut, but it's really about your personal taste.*

*** ~ ***

Relax, be merry, and spread some of this holiday cheer to animals in need.  Now, off to spend some time with my furry baby.

~The Vegetarian Cat

Shopping ---> Baking

Christmas shopping is kind of crazy.  I've been stressed out trying to determine which gift would be right for each person on my list.  Then, after looking at tons of delicious holiday goodies I wanted to make next week, I realized I should go back to the best method of Christmas gift giving, homemade gifts that actually mean something.  Yes, I could drop $50 on a pair of jeans or $70 for those shoes, but I would much rather use my time and skills in the kitchen to spread the love, quite gingerly if we are talking about frosting ;)  Not only will I save money, but my recipients will be able to lavish themselves in freshly baked gingerbread and Buche de Noel, knowing my hours at the stove were all for those moments on their taste buds.  So, the menu?  I'm thinking these:

- Classic chocolate Buche de Noel w/ hand-drawn chocolate forest friends and mushrooms
- Gingerbread critters
- Frosted sugar cookies
- English toffee
- Red and green swirled chocolate fudge
- Soft and chewy oatmeal raisin cookies
- Peppermint bark

I've pretty much prepared everything else before, except the Buche de Noel.  May Saint Nick be with me to bake a delicious, moist genoise with amazingly creamy buttercream! 

*Coupon Deals of the Week*

Walgreens
Simply Orange or Tropicana Orange Juice $2.99
- use $.50/1 mfc from Walgreens Dec. coupon booklet
Ice Mountain 24-pack bottled water 2/$7, receive 1RR
- use $1/2 mfc peelie on package
- pay $6, get 1RR, $2.50 per 24-pack
Snickers Holiday Nutcrackers $.39
- buy 6, use (2) $1/2 Christmas Mars chocolates
- pay $.34 for all 6!

HyVee
Midwest Country Fare Light Brown or Powdered Sugar $.99 w/ in-ad coupon
Keebler Zesta Saltines $.99 w/ in-ad coupon
Russet Potatoes $.99/5 lb. w/ in-ad coupon
HyVee Cream Cheese $.79 w/ in-ad coupon
HyVee Eggs $.88 w/ in-ad coupon
Imperial Margarine $.49/ 1 lb. w/ in-ad coupon
Ritz Crackers 2/$4
- use $1/1 Nabisco crackers mfc
HyVee frozen veggies $.68
Del Monte Gold pineapple $2.48
Dole Premium Salads 2/$3
Eggplant $.99
Green peppers and cucumbers 2/$1

Here's to more snow!

~The Vegetarian Cat

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope you all had a fabulous Thanksgiving, filled with cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, and tofurky :D  Now try to keep Fluffy out of the leftovers ;)

~ The Vegetarian Cat